When you suddenly find yourself locking eyes with someone striking, it can feel like the entire room fades into the background. Your body might tingle with a mix of nerves and excitement, and you’re overwhelmed by a sense of instant connection. It often feels like a strangely familiar moment, like you’ve come across that person somewhere before even if you can’t place it.
Whether you stop to talk or simply pass by like two strangers whose paths briefly crossed, experiences like this are reminders of that romantic idea seen in films and books—the concept of falling in love at first glance.
Sometimes love shows up without a single word spoken (Photo: Alamy)Yet, unlike those dramatized scenes on screen or in literature, these intense moments don’t always lead to deep, lasting relationships. Sometimes, they mark the beginning of a new romance, offering excitement and potential. But when the emotions fade or things don’t go the way we expect, it can bring feelings of confusion or even disappointment.
According to clinical psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD, the emotional surge we experience in such moments has a strong basis in how our body and brain react. She breaks down how these initial encounters may grow into something meaningful when treated with intentional care.
Meaning of Love at First Sight
Describing a moment where someone feels a sudden, powerful bond with another person, love at first sight is often discussed in music, books, TV dramas and movies. It involves a deep pull toward someone, usually without much understanding or logic.
Such a reaction happens quickly—often within seconds—just from seeing the person. If a conversation follows, that interest tends to grow even more. People often describe the feeling using vivid imagery like fireworks or electric sparks.
“It’s quite easy to become consumed by how intense that moment can be,” Dr. Albers explains.
Is Love at First Sight Genuine?
While these experiences can be powerful, does that mean the person might be the true match you’ve been hoping to meet? Dr. Albers acknowledges that while this is a real experience for many, it doesn’t always represent the kind of love that matures over time.
She references Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love as a helpful way to assess what someone is feeling. According to this theory, all romantic connections involve three core elements: intimacy, passion and commitment.
“Love at first sight reflects the passion element,” Dr. Albers points out. “But for the relationship to be real and lasting, all three parts must be present. Figuring out whether this feeling is long-term or just temporary requires careful thought. At times, it may be more about infatuation than love itself.”
Many couples describe their first meeting as love at first sight. This may be explained by psychological factors, such as the halo effect, which causes people to see someone as more admirable simply because they find them attractive. Memory bias may also play a role, as people tend to reshape their recollections to match how they want the story to sound.
“Some individuals may look back and reshape their memory to match the idea of instant love,” says Dr. Albers. “It becomes a kind of self-confirming belief, where the person convinces themselves that it had to happen that way.”
This belief can shape how someone behaves in future relationships too. Once convinced that love must begin with a spark, people may take actions that recreate that scenario again and again.
“If love at first sight happens to you, there’s no harm in cherishing it,” says Dr. Albers. “Even a single experience can leave a lasting impression, teaching you to better understand emotional intensity and human closeness.”
How It Happens
Love, contrary to popular tales, starts from the brain rather than the heart. The prefrontal cortex—responsible for logic, decision-making, and judgment—is often the part that initiates the process.
“This part of the brain is trained to make quick decisions, even with little information,” Dr. Albers says. “When you find someone attractive, your brain can make that call almost instantly.”
Research indicates that judgments made about someone’s looks and behavior trigger multiple areas of the brain. The feeling of attraction comes with a burst of chemicals like dopamine (linked to pleasure) and oxytocin (linked to bonding and emotional closeness).
“You may not know much about the person at that point, but the body responds strongly,” Dr. Albers says. “It’s an emotional high that feels incredibly real.”
Some scientific studies even compare this reaction to how addictive behaviors form. The body seeks that pleasurable feeling repeatedly once it’s been experienced.
“The chemicals may feel trustworthy at first, but they are working off immediate impressions, not facts,” she cautions.
What It Feels Like
Each person may experience it differently, but some shared responses are common. The feeling is often a mix of emotional excitement and physical changes. These may include:
- A racing heartbeat
- Trouble breathing normally
- A sense of warmth or a flushed face
- Nervous excitement (sometimes described as butterflies)
- Constant thoughts about the other person
- Difficulty sleeping
- Sudden changes in eating habits or daily schedules
“We meet several people in a day, yet these intense moments seem to leave a mark,” says Dr. Albers. “They stay in your memory like a strong magnetic pull that’s hard to ignore.”
What Comes Next After You Feel It?
“It’s a promising beginning because it shows there’s an attraction, but more work needs to follow,” Dr. Albers advises.
Instant sparks don’t always lead to lasting fire (Photo: Getty Images)Roughly 60% of people go through love at first sight at some point, and if it happens once, it’s more likely to happen again. To avoid feeling let down when things don’t progress as expected, she suggests taking time to observe your own behavior patterns. Those who experience this often may have an anxious approach to relationships.
“People who frequently feel this way may be seeking fast emotional connection to soothe their worries,” Dr. Albers explains. “It helps to reflect and ask if this keeps happening and what that might say about how you relate to others.”
Start by Defining What Matters Most
Building a relationship can be compared to constructing a building. Before raising walls, the foundation must be laid. This starts by identifying your own personal values. Are you hoping to raise a family someday? Do you prefer exclusivity or open arrangements? How important are career ambitions and financial goals?
“Noticing the moment of attraction is a great first step,” says Dr. Albers. “But then, slow down and take time to understand who the other person truly is. Ask if you share interests, lifestyle choices, and especially similar values. That’s what helps build something lasting.”
If it feels difficult to identify what you value most, consider making a list.
“A helpful practice is to write out what you can’t compromise on in a relationship, what you’re flexible about, and what doesn’t matter much to you,” she suggests. “Early conversations around these issues help form strong bonds.”
Clarify What You Want
Once you understand your values, it becomes easier to know who fits into your life. Setting clear boundaries and expectations helps you avoid investing in situations that aren’t healthy. It’s equally important to manage what you expect from yourself. If you dream of cinematic love stories, also be open to more grounded, less dramatic versions of romance.